Sunday, September 11, 2011

Things that we learn, by growing up…….

“We will remain as children in the eyes of elders”
I was sitting with one of my senior teachers that one of the friends came in and asked me for mediation in their issue. My teacher burst in laughter and while tapping on my shoulder said, “Hahaha, I never thought that you have grown up enough to resolve the issues!!!”. The puzzlement was evident in all his expressions. Frankly, I felt a little embarrassed. As my father used to say, “No matter, what you become and what others say about you, I always see you as a child”. That is a compliment as well as a warning (There is a famous saying….If you are the Alexander the great, it is not wise to go in wilderness without the company of an old man (an experienced person)…. An experienced person! Hmmm, that is an essential commodity that is shrinking, most probably because of the arrogance of our generation. Most of us think that our judgments are sufficient and in most cases better than those of experienced one (Well, I think that is just the matter of time. Realizations! Perhaps, some that we do not like make us to realize that basics of life are common to all generations). I think I have improved in this regard a little bit. Over years, I have learned that we grow together. I appreciate a lot of things now that I wasn’t able to see before.
“One never learn to relax without experiencing at first hand the pains of losses by rushing”
RELAXATION, I think, Psychologists and Yogis have defamed this term. We all learn to slow down over time by our experiences. Becoming relaxed in our responses and reactions are the pretext for the mental relaxation that Psychologists and Yogis preach and teach. I tend to rush into things and sometime to disappoint myself. By seeing the relaxed elders, I have learned that in a lot of things rushing ends in kinds of losses that can’t be repaired. Learning about people and building trusts can’t be done only with good intentions and sincerity. It requires time and timing. Sometimes early means too amateur and other times late means too late!!!.... In facing strange people, you may get mocked, get treated in uneasy ways and it is also possible to be insulted. These are all possible, if the people don’t know you well. So over time, I learned to listen more to myself than others. If I know that my intentions are good then it doesn’t matter if others question them (I know they are just showing their ignorance….in that case, I can only feel pity on them…or they just rushing…Well, in that case just showing their inexperience and that is what we must overlook to give them time to grow…Please, don’t get confused in pronouns …like, you, we, other, I, you, he, she, as we fit in all these pronouns (except gender one from time to time…)…. In short, I know better myself than other and I know very well, what my intentions are, so it is better to focus on means of delivering or expressing them (Most of the flaws are here so needed a constant attention to improve)…
“By opening ourselves we increase the free space for our activities”…
The other thing that I think, I have improved a little bit in is, “Opening Myself”. If I have the authority to expand my world then why suffer from running spaces? I was very reserved in talking about myself. Over time, I have learned that I am not different from rest of people, so there is no need to be embarrassed to accept “Who I am”. The positive sides are, “reflective learning”, “improving faster by accepting growth as a natural process”, “realizing that I am a not a born saint, great man and all sort of these “like titles” that make us to retreat into our shells”, “make others feel comfortable about us”, “not shocking others and disappointing ourselves by “Wikileaks” or “Mirzaleaks” and most importantly give us courage to face ourselves and others with “courageous honesty”…………
“Understanding is more important than learning”…….
I think, I have the legitimacy to give an “expert opinion” on this topic but perhaps it is not a good place for it (Opps! I can’t write articles within article) as I have to admit that I have learnt a lot of things without understanding them and later, I have unlearned them in order to understand them. Learning becomes a pleasant and very easy process once one starts understanding. I have not to give examples to our generation as they read almost every day in headlines of newspapers or watch analyses in the news channels about failure of “experts…those who have learned but haven’t understood” in economics, politics, managements and so on. Going across the disciplines and observing beyond the relevant fields, expand the horizon of understanding and this is a lesson that I have learned the hard way.
“Gold rushes do not last long”…….
I think, it didn’t take me long to realize that gold rushes do not last long. It is natural to get impressed by those who are blessed by being at “right place” at the “right time”. People gamble their lives, relations and so on for right place and right time but I have learnt that the “right person” and the “right people” are more important than “right place” and “right time” as gold rushes do not last long. Of course, it is counterintuitive but my personal experience says that gold rushes don’t last long but the people who you have to live with are “always” there or somewhere to be with you. My uncle used to say that “lucky is one who is surrounded by wise people”. We usually get impressed by a lot of things but what last long is the “wisdom” (Seems a line from Sadhu’s book ;)
“A baby learns walking by falling many times”….
Falling is painful but we realize over time that the pains we get by falling during our efforts never hurt but it really hurts to remain safe by choosing not to try. Once I decided to show some of my writings for an advice to an expert in literature. I was a little bit hesitating in doing so, so I went to a senior student in literature. I told him about my decision and then told him of my fear, “What if he turns down to look at them?”…… “What you lose then?” he asked me back. “Nothing” I replied. It took me some time to learn to reconcile with myself over pains of falling and not fearing them anymore….
I think, this is not going to end so why not to write the rest in another Post (Thanks Khudadad for the break :)….

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Let's beat the drum!...!...!...!

Yeah, Let's beat the drum...In month of Ramadan, some people beat the drums going street to street to wake up the people in predawn time...I was always fascinated by their jobs; they wake up people from sleep in a time when they are in deep sleep... Socrates were thinking that most of us are in deep sleep like that of predawn time, so he was going from street to street in ancient Athens and cross-questioning people to show them that their lives are un-examined...When we do not analyse our beliefs and world views then it is like living in sleeping mode...The stronger the certainty in unexamined worldviews, the deeper is the sleep.......

As there is no Socrates to stop us on the streets to cross-question our worldviews, keeping diary is way to open yourself for your examination (it is famously known as self-accountability) here I have started beating the drums...let's see how much I am going to be committed to my diary :)